Five… an innocent age, one during which you’re more interested in coloring books and preparing for kindergarten than making life-changing decisions about your moral beliefs. I wasn’t prepared for such a decision, but it snuck up on me one day, a product of my unrelenting curiosity.
“Mommy, why are the cows crying?”
My parents own 150 acres of Texas farmland, upon which graze about 50 beautiful bovines and a horse or two at any given time. At this moment in my life, many of the old girls are bellowing their hearts out, making my little empathetic self squirm in my seat. What on earth could be the matter?
“Well… their bellies hurt, that’s all.”
“Why?”
“Their bodies made milk for their babies to drink, and now that their babies are gone, they’re just a little sore, that’s all.”
“But… where did their babies GO?”
Now, at this age, these cows are just big dogs to me – as much my personal beloved pets as our two ponies are. What kind of monster would take our baby cows, and for what purpose? Why are my parents sitting there so complacently after such a (to my mind and clearly to the cows as well) horrendous and despicable crime has occurred? Well, it was at this point in my life that they chose to explain to me the prevailing human belief that we are the superior species, and therefore all other creatures are but commodities to our needs… not in so many words, of course…
“You see your hamburger here, sweetheart? Well, it’s made from the cows. We take animals, and we make them into meat so we can eat them, so we can live…”
Whoa. We do.. what? I’m eating… what?? This was quite a shocker to my fragile little mind. Doesn’t making them into meat… hurt them? Why would we hurt them? Aren’t they our friends?
Well, my parents tried to fight the flames of my furious realization and soothe my troubled mind, but they soon found it was too late. From that day on I scrutinized my meals diligently, refusing to put anything in my mouth which my parents (reluctantly) admitted was, in fact, dead animal flesh. Of course it was never named as such, always just called the generic “meat”, and played off as being completely normal and natural. They had hoped that this little phase would end soon enough, that my mind would eventually disentangle the hunks of muscle that everyone around me continued to consume from the love and respect I felt for all the other living creatures which I had until then, and wanted to continue to, believe were my equals.
Now I see that they’re not quite my equals, of course. Almost all nonhuman animals will never even remotely understand how far we can see into the future and the past, or how intimately we understand the chemistry and physics and biology that allow us all to exist. They may not have any clue the complexities that we are able to contain in our minds, but they know compassion. They know a pat on the head from a kick in the rear, and they know that the strange species that walks on two legs is equally able to deliver both. Only we know how wise we are as a species, and only we can make the choice to deliver love and kindness to our fellow beings, rather than a painful and untimely death.
I thank you so much for your role in helping people to awaken to the tragedy of our status quo. For me a desperately depressed and pained chorus of mooing was what it took to awaken the true fervor of my animal activism. For those who haven’t had such an experience, I couldn’t imagine a more enlightening and gentle manner to be awakened to the bliss of compassion than through the practical reasoning, enriching literature, and delicious meals you share with the world via Compassionate Cooks. For this reason I am eternally grateful to you and all the persons and events which continue to support you and make you a success.
I am thankful today and always for all my fellow revolutionaries in the greatest cause on earth – the equality of all living beings.
Wow… what a story! It really must have hit you hard living right on a farm. So many people loose this connection with animals early on – And for some, like myself… it may be well into adulthood that they realize what they’ve lost as a result.
Rebuilding and working towards a new understanding of our relationship to animals can be an arduous task – It helps for us all to learn from each other how to repair the damages done from being seperated/reunited with our compassionate selves… Thanks for your story
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It was sad, but beautiful to read. I am always disturbed by the idea that almost all children go through that moment when they realize what meat is and their parents try to rationalize it for them. I think for many it is the introduction to the idea that if you can rationalize that you can rationalize anything and leads to a life of rationalizing things that are not ok to make them so instead of facing them and dealing with them. I loved the last sentence you wrote – it was beautifully said. Thanks again!
Bless your compassion at such an early age! I started out vegetarian because my family was… and I continued because as an adult with the power of choice, I could not imagine ever living with the fact that if I chose to be a meat-eater in this world where non-meat options are so plentiful, I would be plunging a knife into the heart of God’s gentle creatures. I can’t fathom doing that.
I recently woke up from a nightmare that i have been living in for 35 yrs were everyone wore blindfolds and followed eachother in circles and verry seldomly asked questions or even wonder why ? were all my meals included a sacrificed animals (pork chicken cow ect)
until a few weeks ago when my love mailed me pictures of what really goes on behind the nice clean meat packages we see at our grocery stores. Now I am working at changing my ways and ITS NOT EASY i have my ups and downs . This evening i was going through it It was rough and My love sends me your story and it put a knot in my trout i needed that thank you for that gift.
I used to love to watch boxing until my daughter was 4 or 5 and she asked me what was happening. It was hard to explain watching two grown men beating each other up. I see the relevance in your story too. When my daughter asked me about why we were vegetarian a few years later, I talked with her about what people eat in other countries. Some countries eat cats and dogs and we think that is completely disgusting here. Other countries think that cows are sacred. We experience a lot of conditioning in our lives.
Thank you for your post! Really made me think.
Marly
Thank you so much for your stories. While I am not Vegan, I am vegetarian and my fiance is vegan. At first I did it just because it was too hard to cook for him one meal and me a separate, but after the years have gone I have switched over to really thinking about the cruelty this is and how much it is hurting our Earth. Keep up these amazing blogs!
Wow, to have that kind of moralistic stance at the age of 5. That’s just so incredibly awesome. I wish for myself that I had a deeper connection with animals much earlier. It’s been so rare to actually see and feel animals in all the places I lived. But yea, what a thing it must have been, to see your beloved cows crying and screaming and knowing firsthand that using them as a commodity was just wrong. Major props to you and I hope you keep inspiring others with your story.